I really am Misunderstood.

Eurgh. This week has been, quite frankly, BAD. Well, with the exception of Monday, I think. No, wait, Monday sucked. It was a Monday, of course it sucked.

Should I? Could I?
Have said the wrong things right a thousand times
If I could just rewind, I see it in my mind
If I could turn back time, you'd still be mine

On Tuesday, it sorta started like any other day. Not much happened in the morning, and my day went on. I went to school, learned absolutely nothing so it seemed, and got home. Another oh-so productive day. Well, I messaged a friend of mine on Facebook because I thought she needed someone to talk to. Honestly, I was planning on asking her out. I don't know why, but lately.. I've just hated life, pretty much. This person in particular knows just how to cheer me up sometimes, and I wish she would see how much I care about her. But alas, as my tragic and complicated love life goes, she told me to quit bothering her. So.. Strike One, in week bad.

You cried, I died
I should have shut my mouth, things headed south
As the words slipped off my tongue, they sounded dumb
If this old heart could talk, it'd say you're the one
I'm wasting time when I think about it

On Wednesday, fast forward to lunch. I was walking with another friend of mine, one that's pretty much a sister to me. I had asked her how she was and if she was okay about an hour earlier, and she said she was. I didn't believe her. So.. On the way to her next class, I asked her again, and she snapped at me. Well, actually, she took my head off. I sorta went along with it, and let her go at her next class. I was walking back to my lunch period, and I was really upset. Really, she NEVER snaps at me like that. So yeah, I was sad. Strike Two, in week bad.

I should have drove all night, I would have run all the lights
I was misunderstood
I stumbled like my words, Did the best I could
Damn, misunderstood

On Thursday, I got to school really early, and when I do that, I wait out front with my friends. Well, all day that day I just wanted to be left alone. I still want to be left alone. Truth be told, I'm just tired. This upcoming week of testing is nipping at my heels, and it's going to hit me harder than I really want it to. Anyways, I went to the soccer field and waited there, it gave me time to think. Apparently I looked sad, because several people stopped by to ask me if I was okay. I decided later that day that I was going to avoid my friend, something I haven't done for a while. I ALWAYS walk her to her class. Well, I didn't. And as much as it hurts me to not talk to her, I have to give her space. I keep getting the impression that I'm aggravating her, and that I'm just not wanted. So.. I gave her space. I watched from behind a pillar as she and her friends walked off towards the soccer field, and off into the distance. There goes friend number two...

Could I? Should I?
Apologize for sleeping on the couch that night
Staying out too late with all my friends
You found me passed out in the yard again

Friday. Today. More of the same, really. I avoided my friend again, though I did write her a letter. All that it said was that I wasn't ignoring her, just avoiding her, giving her space. I keep getting the feeling I'm stressing her out, so I told her that. I also told her that I wasn't sure when I would talk to her again, but that she needed to know that I wasn't mad. And I'm not. I'm just trying to help, I'm trying to be polite. I don't want to get in the way.

You cried, I tried
To stretch the truth, but didn't lie
It's not so bad when you think about it

I thought about it all day today. I thought about how maybe giving her that note was a bad idea. It was, most likely. Her status on facebook said that she had cried for most of the day. All I have running through my mind is how horrible I am... I can't seem to do anything right. I can't. And I hate it. Strike Three.

I'm out.

I should have drove all night, I would have run all the lights
I was misunderstood
I stumbled like my words, did the best I could
Damn, misunderstood
Intentions good

I've lost three friends over the past year. Three people that mean the world to me. Three people that I wish I could say sorry to. Three people that I wish I could save. Three people who used to look up to me, but now they can't stand the sight of me..

It's you and I, just think about it...

I know there's no point in worrying like I do, but I can't help it. I'm losing you guys left and right. Don't leave me, I can't do this alone..

I should have drove all night
I would have run all the lights
I was misunderstood
I stumbled like my words, did the best I could
I 'm hanging outside your door
I've been here before
Misunderstood

*sigh* Well, I should wrap up this post. I've had "Misunderstood" on loop this whole time, and I've posted the lyrics throughout the post. Here's a link to the song, if you're bothering to read this.

I stumbled like my words, did the best I could
Damn, misunderstood
Intentions good.

My intentions really were good. I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me.

~Tim